I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
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Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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