..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
