are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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