Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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