He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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