butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
