No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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