do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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