I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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