I should be sponsored by Trojan
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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