Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the condom got lost in my hair
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
