thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
