I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
from now on my penis is your penis
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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