She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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