i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She even gives head with a lisp.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
