Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Panties = found
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