hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
