ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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