no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
