I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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