I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
