Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
