Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
