hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
