I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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