Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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