just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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