i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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