The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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