Texts From Last Night

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  (682): View more from Texas

  nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise

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  (682): nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise http://tfl.nu/kg9z
  Replies (1) Good night (1421) Bad night (794)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.

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  (859): Your vagina is a self cleaning oven. http://tfl.nu/z5bn
  Replies (11) Good night (1155) Bad night (655)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo

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  (845): Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo http://tfl.nu/oxyw
  Replies (8) Good night (1264) Bad night (735)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  it's more of a rinse.

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  (773): is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar? (773): it's more of a rinse. http://tfl.nu/la1k
  Replies (66) Good night (1567) Bad night (2617)
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  (415): View more from California

  if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?

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  (415): if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me? http://tfl.nu/n53h
  Replies (90) Good night (982) Bad night (10420)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it

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  (334): I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it http://tfl.nu/u4cv
  Replies (14) Good night (5103) Bad night (1219)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?

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  (708): Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight? http://tfl.nu/wnvq
  Replies (38) Good night (17747) Bad night (2247)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.

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  (405): he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love. http://tfl.nu/r7jm
  Replies (19) Good night (6168) Bad night (1101)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit

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  (217): Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit http://tfl.nu/cmoj
  Replies (0) Good night (578) Bad night (448)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML

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  (780): If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML http://tfl.nu/m3i8
  Replies (8) Good night (1645) Bad night (564)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.

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  (850): Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too. http://tfl.nu/dtev
  Replies (8) Good night (617) Bad night (289)
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  (916): View more from California

  Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.

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  (916): Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand. http://tfl.nu/j2wp
  Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (728)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.

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  (541): He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/w3c8
  Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (903)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.

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  (303): I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room. http://tfl.nu/4ego
  Replies (3) Good night (723) Bad night (268)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising

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  (812): I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising http://tfl.nu/m486
  Replies (2) Good night (150) Bad night (378)

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