Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow

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(703): View more from Virginia

We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.

(540): View more from Virginia

You guys make me sad

(703): View more from Virginia

You misspelled jealous there

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(516): View more from New York

i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.

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(253): View more from Washington

I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.

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(646): View more from New York

i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.

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