I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes