nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night