Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  so you made the shocked face and they caught you.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  yup.

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  (571): i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise. (570): so you made the shocked face and they caught you. (571): yup. http://tfl.nu/1dzq
  Replies (19) Good night (1492) Bad night (5361)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous

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  (973): she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous http://tfl.nu/o10z
  Replies (9) Good night (1429) Bad night (5217)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme

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  (647): btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme http://tfl.nu/51hh
  Replies (10) Good night (3966) Bad night (918)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight

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  (201): if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight http://tfl.nu/z6vl
  Replies (22) Good night (4421) Bad night (1609)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"

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  (703): I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila" http://tfl.nu/s09r
  Replies (11) Good night (4783) Bad night (1082)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.

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  (215): the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign. http://tfl.nu/j53c
  Replies (7) Good night (3241) Bad night (759)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.

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  (334): Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its. http://tfl.nu/ucnl
  Replies (11) Good night (1568) Bad night (944)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you

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  (785): Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you http://tfl.nu/5ffo
  Replies (4) Good night (2553) Bad night (665)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick

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  (240): it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick http://tfl.nu/lcrn
  Replies (5) Good night (1198) Bad night (552)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.

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  (574): I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help. http://tfl.nu/f05s
  Replies (2) Good night (858) Bad night (446)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.

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  (307): Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too. http://tfl.nu/aq9s
  Replies (4) Good night (1161) Bad night (416)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians

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  (724): We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians http://tfl.nu/50hn
  Replies (8) Good night (706) Bad night (388)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later

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  (425): I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later http://tfl.nu/4jkk
  Replies (3) Good night (1176) Bad night (340)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details

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  (425): Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details http://tfl.nu/91yu
  Replies (1) Good night (408) Bad night (253)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it

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  (712): I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it http://tfl.nu/a3ns
  Replies (1) Good night (430) Bad night (345)

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