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it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
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