Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.

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  (757): DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT? (703): I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear. http://tfl.nu/5lvm
  Replies (37) Good night (2838) Bad night (931)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.

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  (206): I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship. http://tfl.nu/9mk5
  Replies (40) Good night (3545) Bad night (1023)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.

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  (416): I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom. http://tfl.nu/jkib
  Replies (21) Good night (4400) Bad night (585)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.

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  (850): Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober. http://tfl.nu/1ay2
  Replies (44) Good night (3500) Bad night (822)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.

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  (513): you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that. http://tfl.nu/6e0s
  Replies (11) Good night (669) Bad night (4448)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono

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  (347): Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono http://tfl.nu/a0gb
  Replies (40) Good night (7850) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.

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  (613): I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went. http://tfl.nu/jkvp
  Replies (14) Good night (4893) Bad night (1087)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.

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  (484): I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet. http://tfl.nu/aaoq
  Replies (1) Good night (983) Bad night (1614)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"

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  (847): There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show" http://tfl.nu/r6m2
  Replies (7) Good night (2788) Bad night (1189)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.

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  (208): You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish. http://tfl.nu/85ra
  Replies (9) Good night (478) Bad night (1512)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina

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  (865): it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina http://tfl.nu/yy9c
  Replies (16) Good night (2217) Bad night (803)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it

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  (+44): He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it http://tfl.nu/dp2q
  Replies (3) Good night (1565) Bad night (568)
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  (714): View more from California

  Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.

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  (714): Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends. http://tfl.nu/11t7
  Replies (21) Good night (737) Bad night (2395)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....

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  (+61): So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year.... http://tfl.nu/e6zr
  Replies (3) Good night (1380) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...

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  (562): Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell... http://tfl.nu/1xl3
  Replies (0) Good night (252) Bad night (448)

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