i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
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Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
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You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick