hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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