I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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