she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
