i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
