Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
