how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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