I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
