i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
