VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
