I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
