I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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