Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
