Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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