piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
