I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
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She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
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At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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