I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
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oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
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We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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