I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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