what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
