A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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