I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
