remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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