There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
