Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
