WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
