On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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