I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
