You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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