Your tits are I can't wait for
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
