I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
