never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
