You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
