Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need water and some morals
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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