So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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