she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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