AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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