If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
