Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize