I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
